You know, I just finished my education to become a security guard. Already met up with my future boss to apply for clearance by the police, so I can work as a security guard at a high-end mall in our capital city. I’ll be dealing with thieves and gang members. I’ll be servicing the average costumer with whatever help they need. All in all trying to keep the place safe for everyone and a nice place to shop. I’ve heard stories of what security guards can encounter. It’s a job where you will spend a lot of time being helpful to customers and it’s a job where you all of the sudden will have to change from normal slow pace just watching abnormalities to reacting to an emergency or dealing with aggression. I’m gonna be the rookie. All I know about the job is from what I’ve been told. I don’t know how the reality is gonna be. I know I’m super exited to start. But all of this feel like stepping out on the stage for the first time knowing you got what it takes, but never having had your capabilities tested in real life situations. At school we did scenarios for our exams. Scenarios are fake. They are not real life. The idea of aiding people in need, talking down an aggressive person, arresting a criminal; it all sounds super exiting and makes me feel both nervous and alive at the same time. I’m eager to prove myself to myself. Showing that I can indeed do this. But I’m also nervous. School is over. It’s not theoretical anymore. Now reality is gonna hit me and I’m gonna learn what I’ve made of. Who I am when the shit hits the fan. Naturally I’m also a bit scared. Stepping out of my comfort zone. In self defense training we learn about violence and predatorily behavior. The last 9½ months I’ve trained for the moment someone comes after me. Now I’m about to start a job, where my risk of a violent encounter is higher. I got good amount of colleagues when I start. I’m not gonna be alone. Someone wanna play rough I got some badass people ready to come to my aid. I’ve learned to defend myself and I got colleagues ready to defend me. My knowledge of this world is all from books, movies and stories from people who have been there. What is it gonna be like for me? How am I gonna be? Am I gonna be good, great or am I fooling myself. I believe it’s gonna be one of the 2 first. But reality will test me and show me. Right now I just think. Down the road, ill know. It’s scary. But I’m comforted by the fact that I’m not alone. I got people, good people to teach me. Good people to talk to. People who’s been in the game many many years. I’m proud to have finished top of my class on the theoretical exam. Damn proud about that achievement. Now it’s time to prove that I got what it takes to be a great security guard. Those nerves man, they can mess with your head.
I’ve worked hard to get here. For the first time in a decade I’m gonna experience what stability in my life feels like. I’m gonna be able to afford stuff again. Pay of that loan, that’s just been staring at me for the last 10 years. The relief is so thick you can cut it with a knife. I feel like myself again for the first time in a long time. My teachers don’t even know the depth of what they have helped me achieve here and their contribution to it. A friend of mine told me to not forget who made me, and I won’t. These teachers, my instructor, my sister have all played their role in pushing me to where I am today. Thank you doesn’t even cut it. The commitment I felt from my teachers towards their students is rare. You don’t see that kinda engagement everywhere. I feel lucky to have been trained by such good people, and all I did so far was to organize buying a cake and a card for our primary teacher. He was grateful. But like I said, a simple thank you just doesn’t seem to even scratch the surface of my gratitude.
To be continued…
Rosie´s view on the world around her 